In the Realm of Ice and Fire
by TheWhyteRabbyt
Summary: Continuation of It Really Irks Me. Skoodge has befriended Gir and Minimoose. Will they survive the Uranisian Jelly Yetis? Will Dib and Tak end up together? Will Zim and Gaz make up? Welcome to the realm of Ice and Fire.
1. Prologue

**Hi everyone! My brief vacation is now over, and I am back to writing. I hope you're all frothing at the mouth in anticipation! Without further ado, here's the first bit of _IN THE REALM OF ICE AND FIRE! _(By the way, this is a sequel. Be sure to read _It Really Irks Me _first, unless you don't mind starting part-way through a storyline)**

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><p><span>Prologue<span>

Do you miss me? _The voice was familiar. Someone I knew? It couldn't be; I hated everyone I knew. So who was it?_

I think you know very well who I am. _I knew that chuckle. That irresistible, evil chuckle that always made my stomach feel fluttery. Where was he? I had to find Zim! Wherever I was, it was stupidly bright…so bright I could hardly see, no matter _how_ hard I squeezed my eyes shut._

Where are you, Zim? _I shouted to the horizon, which was the source of the blinding afternoon light. A hard gust of wind whipped my clothes around me and covered me with sand. I tried rubbing it off. A laugh sounded in the distance._

I'm right here, Little Gaz. I'm always with you. _One of Zim's gloved claws poked me just in front of my heart. His arms encircled me and I felt lips brush my forehead. A tear of loneliness escaped me._

Why won't you like me back, Zim? Why do you hate me? _I felt his breath flutter my hair. His shadow engulfed me, shielding me from the harsh light. I saw his shadowed silhouette._

Maybe you and I are more alike than even _you_ can imagine, Gaz-love. You should try analyzing me a little more like you would analyze yourself. _He chuckled throatily as his Pak legs extended, and then he launched himself towards the horizon, taking the light with him. I was left in darkness._

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><p><strong>DISCLAIMER: I do not own Invader Zim.<strong>


	2. Chapter 1

**So here's the first _official_ chapter. I'm really trying to plan this one out and make it even better than _It Really Irks Me_. If you have any helpful suggestions or anything at all, I would really appreciate it in PMs or reviews! Thank you so much for taking the time to read.**

**Irken-love, **

**TheWhyteRabbyt.**

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><p><span>Chapter 1<span>

How long had it been? It seemed like a few hours, as if it would only be pizza-time back home. Yet…it also seemed like it had been forever.

_Any_ small amount of time could seem like forever though…with stupid _Dib_ blabbering on and on about Bigfoot.

"Gaz, all I'm saying is that there are enough sightings around the world to classify all of them as a new species…sort of a missing link, if evolution isn't just a theory. There's the China Wildman, the Sasquatch…they're just plain _everywhere_!" Dib's chattering voice made my stomach clench. I growled ferociously.

"For the last time, _Dib_: I don't believe in Bigfoot. Sure, they have plaster castes of weird-crap footprints, but all the video footage I've seen in all my years of watching _Mysterious Mysteries _is just a bunch of guys in gorilla suits. I'm sick to death of hearing about this. If you don't want me to rip off your limbs and shoot you with them out of the airlock, then _shut_. _Up_." I opened one eye slightly to shoot a glare at him. He looked at me indignantly, completely ignoring my threat.

"How can you say that you don't believe in Bigfoot, Gaz? Don't you remember? He came and used the belt sander in the garage!" I opened both eyes in a fury-glare and immediately kicked him into the windshield. He fell back, unconscious.

"K.O. for me," I grinned, giving his arm a punch to further ease my frayed nerves. "We're lucky the windshield is unbreakable glass, or your big head would have killed us both." I shoved his body into the back seat and took over the controls. The silence quickly calmed me; it seemed as though all of space was one big, peaceful isolation chamber. My mind went back to the time that I had asked Dad to get me one—with electronic-friendly gel in it—so I could come home and not be bothered by Dib's ranting about Zim being an evil alien, come to destroy the earth.

I leaned back in the drive seat, feeling discouraged and bored. Everything was so much _easier_ in elementary school… I didn't have the Hi-Skool's annoying teachers who hated their lives, there weren't any cheerleaders (who unfortunately have the protection of their jock boyfriends), and there wasn't any…_love._ What I would _maim_ to not be attracted to Zim! Shaking my head to clear the painful thoughts, I decided to reflect on my elevator-oriented destruction of Iggins in fourth grade…what a wonderful night _that_ had been! It had gone rough at first, but it ended beyond satisfying….

A _beep, beep _interrupted my reverie. I looked up to see a small red light blinking on the navigation screen. I pressed it. The computer's voice sounded in my ear.

"Now entering Meekrobian colonies. Please state secondary destination."

I looked at Dib, wondering if I wanted to risk waking him up just for a second opinion.

Nah.

Pulling the ship into a slow coast, I opened my Game Slave and began researching everything I could find on the Meekrobian colonies. Apparently, the Meekrobians were some of the most advanced races in the universe, able to transform into various shapes, along with performing many other advanced psychological feats. They were also renowned for their spicy and flavorful floistcake. I clicked on the floistcake hyperlink to see exactly what it was. Instead, I got information on a divergent Meekrobian planet, which existed on the outskirts of the Meekrobian colonies: the planet Floist.

"_A group of wealthy Meekrobian nobility was well-known for their constant—some say extreme—use of floistcake. They served it at parties, and ate it for every meal. After much petitioning to the Meekrobian council, they were given a Planetary Conquest permit, and immediately took over the desert planet (previously known as Galab-27), naming it after their beloved treat. With the patrons of the cake pouring so much of their aristocratic riches into the development of the planet, cities cropped up at record speeds. The capital, Cakincharge, now flourishes; it serves as a vacation getaway for rich Meekrobians." _

There was a picture of the Floist inhabitants, holding a piece of their addiction aloft. My mouth fell open in horror. I turned to Dib and pinched his arm to wake him up. He jumped.

"What-what! I wasn't sleeping… I promise!" He adjusted his askew glasses and studied me, his mind working to process his surroundings. "What's up, Gaz? What did I miss?" He was so oblivious sometimes. I showed him the picture. He looked at it and his eyes slowly grew to the size of personal pizzas. He looked at me, gaping.

"Gaz…the Floist-Meekrobians look just like…like…." I gazed out the window, feeling more discouraged than ever.

"They look just like Zim in his human disguise."

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><p>Our ship drifted lazily towards the outskirts of a large city. I crossed my fingers and prayed that it wasn't the capital. My luck had only ever been good while torturing people though. As our ship glided closer to the ground, we passed a large, ornate sign.<p>

_Welcome to the Capital. Welcome to Cakincharge. _

There was some fine print below the main line, but my contacts were blurry, so I had Dib read it aloud. He squinted into the distance.

"No…commenters…allowed." I face-palmed. He eyed me curiously.

"That doesn't seem so bad…as long as we're quiet…."

"No, _Dib_! Don't you understand? It's not 'commenters'... It's 'commoners'. This planet was formed from nobility." We stared off at the glimmering buildings on the horizon as our ship landed behind a large boulder formation.

We were terrified; we were alone in space, potentially breaking the laws of a foreign planet, in search of one of the biggest intergalactic idiots in the entire universe.

Zim was so going to wish I was never born.


	3. Chapter 2

**Okay, so here's chapter 2!  
>I have decided that I will be posting one chapter every other day on this story; it might allow people to savor it a little longer. Anyway, that's all I have for now. Enjoy!<strong>

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><p><span>Chapter 2<span>

Those…those fools! They had left Earth! Using _my old ship _of all things! Ugh! I was such an _idiot_ for trusting in the stupidity of humans…I should have just moved fast and taken their knowledge…. I collapsed onto the curb, holding my head between my hands. Dib and his little sibling were gone…far from the earth's atmosphere…and I….

I had failed twice in my self-assigned mission.

What if they reached Zim first? I would never have my revenge…and Mimi could never destroy that pathetic little excuse for a robot. My life was a string of bad luck held together by brilliant schemes gone wrong! Why did the gods _hate _me? Standing, I whipped around and kicked a trash can as hard as I could down the street. A cat yowled in the distance. My hands balled into fists as I ran towards Dib's house, kicking the front door down in frustration. The little worm was lucky I had enough self-control not to destroy his entire home. I grit my teeth, my military training jump-starting the process of plan development. I stalked out of the dark blue house, calling for Mimi to follow me.

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><p>I stalked around in my lab, occasionally pulling at my left antennae. Over the years, it had gotten slightly longer than my right one, due to the bad habit. Before graduating the Irken Military Academy, I was going to cut it off…until I realized it gave me an advantage during the listening session of the final exams.<p>

Mimi eyed me from her perch near the control panel. Ever since her…_accident_…she had been experiencing odd behavioral lapses. It was almost as if being hacked by Zim's robot had imparted some ability to experience emotions. I recalled the time we had spent trying to recuperate our losses on the volcanic moon of Io, during which I had experienced one of my worst bouts of depression. During a particularly harsh session of crying, Mimi had approached me. After asking me what was wrong and my explaining that I just felt hopeless, she had…_hugged_ me.

I stared back at her, and then rushed to her, pulling her close to me.

"Mimi…I don't know what to do! I feel so lost…" I jade-colored tear eased out onto my cheek. Mimi's robotic hand brushed it away.

"Master…you have never allowed yourself to be finished by a lesser being before; you _always_ manage to pull through," she said in her soft, electronic voice. "I don't think this time will be any different. We should pursue the humans, overtake them, and have them lead us to Zim. Then, when we have found him, we will steal the victory for ourselves." I was almost positive that if Mimi had had a mouth, she would have grinned. As it were, her eyes turned violet; it was her normal sign of happiness. I hugged her to my shoulder.

"Mimi, you are my best friend. I like your idea…I have trained you well; you're just less emotional." Winking at her, I chuckled and began tapping at my control panel. A dark purple background appeared on the oversized screen; it was my mission analyzer. I began typing in the information so the analyzer could calculate the amount of supplies I would need for the trip.

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><p>I held the controls of the ship in my hands tightly…if I had been wearing my human disguise, my knuckles would have gone white from the pressure. Instead, they were obscured by my gloves. I studied the night sky as I cruised in my cloaked ship, trying to find the best area to launch from. It was mostly just killing time, as I had sent Mimi (whom I had outfitted with the latest tracking technology) out to search for residue from my old ship, which would tell us which direction the humans had launched in.<p>

"Master," the radio crackled with Mimi's voice.

"Yes, Mimi?"

"I have discovered where the humans launched from. Apparently, they are heading for the Meekrobian colonies." I grit my teeth. Colonial Meekrobians...those snobbish aristocrats…. They would have the tightest security of stolen Megadoomers around the perimeter of each one of their capitals. No commoners had ever seen the inside of a Colonial Meekrobian capital and lived…but there were many stories of the beautiful shining buildings seen from outside the borders. My stomach clenched as I recalled an awful fact…colonial Meekrobians had diverged from the average Meekrobian anatomy…and they shared a disgusting resemblance to Zim's pathetic human disguise. I shuddered….

I'd have to visit the mobile tavern and pick up a new disguise. I steered the ship towards Mimi's signal, eventually coming across her silhouette on the lonely hilltop. I opened the windshield and she jumped in.

"Master, if we turn our trajectory a little to the left, we will be able to pass by a mobile tavern and collect disguises on our way. It will be fast and we might pick up some interesting tidbits of information on the direction the humans took." I eyed my companion. She was so intelligent. Sighing, I berated myself for spending too much time analyzing my own thoughts. I had fallen into the habit after my original bouts of depression had begun. If it weren't for Mimi, I would have long since lost all hope and direction. She had been more helpful than even the Tallest could have imagined.

The ship tilted back, readying for launch. I closed my eyes, already able to taste the sweetness of revenge on my tongue.


	4. Chapter 3

**Happy chapter day everyone! *throws confetti* This chapter is a little short for my liking, but that's to perserve the mystery! I hope you all enjoy it!  
>By the way...PLEASE REVIEW! I am getting so lonely and I'm not sure whether it's good or not. Please let me know!<strong>

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><p><span>Chapter 3<span>

"Doom…doom-y, doom-y, doom-y doom!"

The little robot had been singing for a _very_ long time. He had been singing ever since I had mentioned that Zim was going to be doomed if we didn't get to him in time. Occasionally, he would pause and mention something about tacos or Suck-Monkeys, start crying, or begin sucking on his foot, but Minimoose managed to knock some sense into him each time.

It seemed like a lot longer than two hours, but it wasn't. We were just passing over the Earth's solar system's seventh planet, Uranus, when _it _happened.

"LOOK! LOOKYYYY!" Gir grabbed my face and pressed it to the windshield facing left. A large neon sign blinked mesmerizing lights in the shape of a teal and purple arrow in the direction of the planet's surface.

"What are 'tacos', anyway?" I murmured. Minimoose floated to me and displayed a screen between his antlers; it was a diagram of what tacos were. My belly grumbled slightly. I glanced sidelong at Gir, contemplating whether or not to take Gir up on his suggestion. He pouted at me, pointing longingly at the sign. Staring at the planet's surface, I recalled some random mission training which spoke of unknown terrors which created traps like this. My belly let out another pleading gurgle and my decision was made.

"Okay, gang," I turned the ship to the blue-green surface of the strange planet. "Space tacos it is!" Our ship rocketed towards an out-cropping of dark blue stone; I brought it to a gentle stop. Opening the windshield, we jumped out of the Cruiser and studied our surroundings. There was a small metallic-looking stand about twenty-five human feet from us. A large neon sign decorated its roof, displaying "TACOS SOLD HERE" in huge letters. I closed the windshield and we began our happy, hungry meandering to the little shop. I banged on its metal curtain.

"Hey, are you guys open?" I shouted. Gir began bouncing around on his head.

"The mind-gnomes want me some tacos, mm-mm-mm!" He began rolling horizontally, pausing every so often to bang on his head with his fists. Minimoose let out a _squeak_ and I knocked again.

"We _do_ have monies, if that's what you're concerned about." Something wasn't right. Strange silvery clouds had blown in, and the wind was picking up. The metal curtain remained closed. Suddenly, a howl sounded in the distance. I gripped my antennae; a painful memory of the screech of a hogulus rang through my head. Knowing that something bad was about to happen, I grabbed Minimoose like a human football—tucking him under my arm—and shoved Gir in the direction of the ship.

"We have to get out of here!" I yelled over the strong gusts of wind. Gir giggled madly, nodding and sprinting towards the ship. More piercing howls sounded. Thick fog had joined the dark clouds; the ship was obscured. I tripped suddenly, Minimoose shot into the distance as I sprawled in the teal soil. I rubbed my forehead and looked around as I stood gingerly. Gir and Minimoose were gone.

"Gir? Minimoose?" I whispered into the darkness. Gir's giggle echoed, seeming to come from everywhere.

"Gir? Gir, where are you?" My voice rattled with nervousness. A low, gravelly voice echoed back to me.

"Hello, _traveler_..." it whispered, "We have been waiting for _you_…." It trailed off as a chorus of shrieking howls pierced through the fog. Minimoose squeaked in fear. Gir began squealing as though he was running from a hogulus. I began yelling, terrified that we were all about to suffer a horrible taco-y fate.

With a horrible blow to the back of my head, I blacked out.


	5. Chapter 4

**Ta-da! Happy chapter...night...before day...*ahem*. Anyway, here's chapter 4. Yes, I added my own character, but very briefly. He will soon go back to the supply bay where he belongs, but he serves his purpose well and is _very very _adorable in the meantime. I hope you enjoy, R&R, and have a _beautiful_ day!**

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><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

"What are we going to _do_?"

After Gaz had landed the ship, we had studied up on as much information about Floist as we could get our hands on. Unfortunately, there was one snag we had absolutely _no idea_ how to handle.

"How are we going to be _green_? I mean, it's not like we can go out and buy some alien make-up, or anything." Gaz sorted through her backpack, going through spare clothes and make-up, trying to find _anything_ that could help us. I watched her frantically throw the backpack aside and start going through mine. Helpless, I looked at the control panel, where a T.V.-sized screen displayed the Irken symbol. An idea blossomed in my head.

"Why don't we have Computer throw some crappy robot together, or something?" Gaz's head whipped up in an unnatural fashion, her eyes red-rimmed from suppressed tears of frustration.

"It's _not_ Computer anymore, _Dib_. Z-_Zim _took Computer with him." She faced away from me and continued rooting around in my backpack. I smiled optimistically at the control screen.

"Just because it's not Zim's doesn't mean it's not as good as any other Irken computer." I shrugged and poked the screen. "Computer, what can we do to form a disguise?" The computer spoke in its strange female voice.

"Now searching the supply bay. Gathering necessary materials…." A panel opened towards the back of the ship; a metal tray appeared carrying what seemed to be an odd assortment of knick-knacks. I gestured at them incredulously.

"_Those _are supposed to be disguises?"

"Told you it wasn't worth trying," Gaz muttered, having found my stash of toffee and crushing it in her tense jaws. I frowned at her pessimistic attitude. The computer spoke again.

"These are the materials to build Pik, the Temporary Disposable Robot. " I raised an eyebrow.

"Why is its name 'Pik'?"

"Because it is." I contemplated whether or not the computer was being snarky. I decided against it.

"O…kay…. So, how do we build Pik?" The screen flashed and a numbered diagram was displayed.

"Now displaying Pik assembly instructions." I rolled my eyes and began reading. Talking to this computer was worse than talking to some of the Swollen Eyeballs. Those people could _really_ make you feel small sometimes. Attempting to fix some of the lose wires and random objects together, I glanced sidelong at Gaz, who watched me in exasperation. I had used the "what-the-heck-am-I-doing" trick often enough to know exactly how to get her to do it for me. Optimism really pays off…sometimes.

"Get out of here, _Dib_, let _me _do it! I know I can," as predicted, Gaz pushed me out of the way and began wiring the different lavender and rose-colored pieces together. Within forty-five minutes she had constructed what looked like a rough prototype of Gir, with bright orange eyes. Tentatively, Gaz pressed the purple button on the front of his chest. The orange eyes lit up, facing both of us in an eerie fashion. The voice could not have been less expected.

"Hello," said the robot in a posh British accent, "I am Pik, at your service. What are your orders?" He grinned, showing a screen with an orange light going back and forth across it. Gaz's eyes opened, trying to process the weirdness that stood before her.

"Um…Pik…we need disguises for Cakincharge." Her voice shook a little. Pik nodded, way too happy for anything. I broke the fourth wall and compared him to the rest of the characters. Yeah, way too _normal_, don't you think? Anyway….

Pik nodded, "I will download a scan of the nearby area." He opened the compartment in his chest and then plugged a wire into the control panel. Some images flashed across the screen for a few moments before he unplugged and turned to us happily.

"There is a large department store in the heart of Cakincharge, called the Jade Palace."

"Like…the Chinese restaurant?" I asked.

"All of the aristocrats who have been born on Floist have grown to possess a greenish skin tone, due to the UV-chlorophyll rays that their sun gives off. Jade is the current fashion in the females. I will collect a jade color for you, Gazlene, and a grass color for you, Dib." Gaz face-palmed.

"He _had_ to use my full name. He just _had _to." She growled. "Alright, Pik, do whatever will get our show on the road the fastest." I nodded in agreement.

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><p>Pik played with the wires in his chest until his cloaking device came on. Of course, it would be difficult to find the supply room for the make-up store, but he was a Temporary Disposable Robot! That was his job! His proud attitude had him march along the edge of the streets, passing by stall after stall in the public market. He was startled but soon ignored the fuming shouts of one Floist citizen, who was yelling conspicuously.<p>

"What do you _mean_, it won't accept my card? You _filthy cake-eating _plant-beast! I-I mean… I'M NORMAL!"

Some _people_, Pik thought to himself.

He found the department store and slipped in through an air vent. Clacking along on his little robotic legs, he finally found himself in the shipment bay, where numerous boxes labeled with different shades of green were stacked to the ceiling. Having found what he was looking for, he prepared to sprint back to his temporary masters, who he felt would be very, _very _proud of him.

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><p><strong>Isn't Pik just <em>precious<em>? I try to keep OCs and other weirdness out of my stories, but I felt this would be an interesting and fairly logical way to get disguises for the Membranes. Sorry if you are totally appalled with me... *hides head in shame*. However, I feel I am justified because, as you are well aware, most things in the _Invader Zim _universe just..._are._ That's just how it rolls. So, I figure, hey, why not continue the "just because" attitude, danggit? Anyway, enough talk! Love ya'll and seeya next time!**


	6. Chapter 5 Part 1

**So...I'm evil.**

**Having a sudden burst of super-inspiration-goo, I accidentally made chapter 5 _much too long._ So, I've split it into _two_ updates. You get the first half today, and the second half tomorrow. Don't hate me! The story has re-entered the action portion instead of all that boring tracking nonsense, and we've come around to being from Zim's perspective in chapter 7, so don't give up just yet! **

**Basic forecast: Chapter 5 parts 1 and 2 are from Gaz's perspective, Chapter 6 is an update on what Skoodge is dealing with, and Chapter 7 is all our favorite Irken anti-hero! Anyway, so I don't fill you with more and more angst, I present to you: CHAPTER FIVE PART ONE!**

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><p><span>Chapter 5: Part 1<span>

"So…um…how do I look?"

After tediously covering every last inch of skin that might ever see the light of day with jade foundation, I was ready to hunt down the _stupid_ alien that screwed up my life. Dib was a slightly darker green than I, but he really sucked at putting make-up on. Pik, in his happy posh way, sponged on the green make-up behind Dib's ears, which stuck out so much that he couldn't see all the pale skin exposed behind him. What a moron.

"I'm waiting…" I tapped my foot as Dib appraised my new look. He stuttered.

"You…you look like…Zim… W-with purple hair of course," he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, probably hoping he didn't invoke my wrath. I opened one eye to study him nonchalantly. He passed very well as an Irken. He smiled, probably hoping to be reassuring. I rolled my eyes and turned away, studying myself in my hand mirror.

_I wonder if Zim would like me better like this._ I _did_ look like an Irken, after all. Maybe he was just too proud of his own race to ever like another. Gritting my teeth, I let out a low growl. No, I would _not_ be like one of those stupid, lovelorn…ugh, _wimpy girls_! I was Gaz, and I would treat this situation properly. I'd just beat him up for being annoying, having a head, _and _reprogramming Computer. I slapped my hand mirror shut and whirled to Dib, who was staring blankly into space, probably trying to think up some plan.

"Come on, _Dib._ Let's get this over with so we can get back to Earth and obliterate Zim's base." He snapped out of his reverie and nodded. Pik stepped forward, looking rather concerned.

"Excuse me, Masters…but I can't help but wonder if…." He twiddled his little rose-colored hands together. I looked at him, gently for once, "If _what,_ Pik?"

"If I may be of further assistance to you…may I join you into the capital?" He looked up at me with his large orange eyes. The pleasant glow was…nice, friendly even. He wasn't half bad for a second-rate, Temporary Disposable Robot. Sure, he didn't have any fancy features like rocket legs, advanced long-distance comm-linking, and the ability to eat, but he was helpful just the same. My decision was unanimous with the only jury that mattered: me.

"Of course you can come, Pik. You're not too annoying." He grinned and his orange eyes glowed slightly pink; I wondered if that meant he was blushing. Dib stepped forward.

"Hey, how come he treats you like the leader?" He put his hands on his hips.

Turning to face Dib at an ominous, slow speed, I opened my eyes slightly and glared at him.

"Because _I'm _the one who got us out here, _I'm _the one who put Pik together, and _I'm _the one who is going to doom _Zim_ to a world filled with walnuts, from which there is no escaping. Now let's _go_!" I flicked the windshield switch and kicked Dib out of the ship as it popped open. Outside, he hit the ground with a hard _thud_. I snickered, and then studied the world we found ourselves in.

A desert extended in all directions from Cakincharge, lit bright shades of oranges and reds by a harsh, unforgiving noon-like sun. I held a finger to my chin and mused.

"Aren't these random planets always supposed to have like, twin suns or three moons or something weird and cliché?" Dib moaned in response. I shrugged and leapt down, Pik in tow. Pik landed lightly on his feet and began jumping down among the rocks we were parked in. I followed at a slow pace, dragging Dib by his collar.

"Hey! Hey, you're gonna rub my make-up off." Shrugging again, I tossed him down the slope and took pleasure in his yelps of pain. The small trek to the city would make me very, _very _happy.

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><p>At first, I was a little nervous. What if they noticed our clothes? What if people didn't wear glasses on this planet? Pondering <em>that<em> factor, I decided that if Dib got caught I'd just pretend that I didn't know him. It was comforting to have Pik there, since he had already found his way through this city before. He turned to me and smiled shyly. I glanced at Dib, who was gawking left and right. I figured we had found the public market, as large green and blue stalls littered the sides of the street. It was no ordinary street market though, as every citizen we passed were wearing what appeared to be very fancy clothes, and the types of items that were being hollered about were usually encrusted in very glittery objects. Something shiny was thrust in my face.

"Young caketress, surely _you_ could see the beauty in this gem of the city? It is one of the rarest gems in all of Floist, made entirely of petrified floistcake! Few live to possess such a treat! You can practically taste the flavor that still manages to seep through the rough exterior! The dark green vendor (who was wearing a very tall purple turban) held out a tray which was littered with small shards of the gem he was waving in my face with the other hand. A small sign on the tray read "SAMPLES". I winced at the vendor's yelling.

"Um…you want me to…_taste_ that?" The vendor stared at me like I was crazy. He leaned in close and stroked his chin.

"You aren't one of those…_revolutionaries_, are you?" Dib jumped in.

"Oh no, sir! We most certainly aren't… My apologies; my sister doesn't get out much." I glared at Dib with both eyes open. He winked.

"Of course we'll try it!" The vendor looked suspicious at first, then smiled and extended the tray. We each took a sample, smiled, and bolted as fast as we could through the thick crowd of Floist-Meekrobians. When we had run a good distance and paused to catch our breath while leaning against a building, Pik grabbed the shards we still held in our hands and crushed them below a metal foot.

"Aw Pik," Dib whined, "I wanted to try it." Pik glared at Dib's big-headed self.

"Sorry, _sir_; while floistcake in its original form may be eaten by any being in the universe, petrified floistcake is often considered abhorrent and in some cases poisonous to beings who have not developed such a tolerance as the Floist-Meekrobians. Besides," he huffed, closing his eyes haughtily, "it tastes like chili fish paste." Dib looked at me in shock, gesturing at Pik.

"That…is _not_ like Gir at all." I suppressed a giggle at Dib's bewilderment.

"Let's just find Zim and kick his butt."

"_So_, humans! We meet again!" My head shot up in the direction of the voice, where the one person I was convinced I would never see again was standing.

Tak.

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><p><strong>Ooooh, what <em>now? <em>Lol! Guess ya'll will find out tomorrow! As always, let me know what you think in reviews or PMs, thanks for taking time out of your busy day to read my stuff.**

**P.S. BioReck, thanks for sticking around from Book I! You are a wonderful encouragement! ^^ *gives cookie***


	7. Chapter 5 Part 2

**Yay, part two! I'm really pleased with how this one turned out, and I hope you are too!**

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><p><span>Chapter 5: Part 2<span>

"Tak?" Dib gasped incredulously. He was shocked, but half-smiling. Weirdo.

Tak stepped forward out of the shadows of the alleyway, revealing her human disguise, altered to have green skin. Her eyes glinted coolly.

"Yes, I have returned…just as I said I would." She flipped her hair. "I admit, I underestimated the speed at which you foolish creatures could travel, yet I promised I would catch you and well…" she raised her hands, smiling darkly, "here we are." Her eyelashes flicked open like sinister, amethyst-velvet butterfly wings. I looked at Dib, hoping to convey my "can-you-believe-her" face, but I growled when I noticed the rosy blush accompanying the dopey look on his face.

"Tak…I…" Tak raised an indifferent eyebrow at him.

"You what, Earth-boy?" The cool, subtle rejection was—for once—not lost on Dib. He hung his head and I stepped in, knowing he would be useless in this exchange.

"Tak, what do you want with us? Do you want your ship? 'Cause you'll have to fight us for it." I opened my eyes and raised a fist threateningly. She opened her eyes wide, studying the pose…and then threw her head back and _laughed_.

"You think I want _that_ trash? I have long since upgraded; that old thing is a mere toy in comparison to what I have now." What? I lowered my fist in confusion, vaguely noticing Pik cowering behind my leg. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

"If you don't want your ship, then why are you stalking us?"

"I'm _not_ stalking you!" Tak almost lost her cool…_almost_. "I followed you to produce the information I need to exact my new goal: revenge on the ex-Invader _Zim_!" Oh…how funny. I coughed out a laugh.

"Join the club," muttering sarcastically, I turned away from her, pulling the still-moping Dib by the sleeve. "C'mon, Dib, let's go…." Stopped in my tracks, my sentence was left forgotten. Standing like a deer in the headlights at the entrance to the alley was the source of all my problems; the eternal thorn in my side...the object of my persistent, unforgiving crush.

Zim.

Making eye contact, he returned my frustrated glare, his blue eyes glistening with the slightest trace of fear.

Then he ran.

"COME BACK HERE, IDIOT!" Releasing Dib's sleeve—and with Pik still grasping my leg in terror, I launched myself after the emerald-colored moron. I saw his black hair bobbing up and down in the crowd; it was a miracle Zim had grown as tall as he did. I shoved the pompous citizens who were obnoxiously meandering in my path, pumping my legs to reach my victim. Shouts of indignation and bewilderment rang behind me, but I only had eyes for the alien running helter-skelter in front of me…in more ways than one. Zim dared to throw a glance over his shoulder, locked eyes with me, and then did the most immature thing I should have expected. We ceased our chase for a moment. Pik whimpered in fear, clutching my leg for dear life.

"DID YOU JUST STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT AT ME?" The entire crowd of people around me turned and stared, glancing nervously at Zim, who had too-late realized the look I was giving him.

In a burst of wrath-driven inhuman speed, I tackled him to the ground. We rolled a few, coming to a stop with one of my knees pressed firmly in his chest. He coughed at the cloud of red-orange sand.

"_Pitiful_ Gaz-beast! You shall _not_ gain victory over _ZIIIIM!" _Briefly releasing one of his wrists, I slapped him clean across the face, hissing into his ear.

"_Shut…up! _Do you _want _to blow _both_ of our covers? You know as well as I that…only aristocrats are allowed here." He stared at me blankly.

"YOU'RE LYING!" I pressed my hand across his mouth, glaring at him with both of my eyes fully open.

"Zim…you have _no _idea how much strength it's taking me right now not to_ rip your head off._ Now shut up." I stood, grabbing him by the collar and dragging him to the nearest alley. I smiled as girlishly as possible and waved to the crowd.

"Oh, don't mind us! My mom has been looking for my cousin here for the _longest_ time!" The crowd nodded and returned to their business. I dragged Zim to the end of the alley. Before I could begin his dooming however, he pressed me to the wall.

"Wha-?"

"You didn't _honestly _think that the almighty _Zim_ was so _weak_, did you?" He whispered into my ear. I wriggled in his vice grip. He smirked cockily…. Ugh! If I could have clawed that smug grin off his face I would've…but why was it so _attractive_? I grit my teeth, trying to avoid eye contact. Zim lifted my face with a gloved claw.

"I'll admit, Dib-sibling, you did a fair job of tracking me to my hiding place." Unable to resist any longer, my eyes lifted to his blue ones. I saw his smugness—his crazy pride that fueled him in his every endeavor. "However," he continued, his voice going dangerously soft and low, "now that it is _I _who have caught _you, _you will understand why you shouldn't have followed me."

He extracted a strange rod-like device from his Pak, pressed it against my forehead, then whispered breathily in my ear, "Goodnight, little Gaz."

Pik yelling "Mistress!" was all I heard before my vision went black.

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><p><strong>I really like the tension between Zim and Gaz in this chapter; I'm really excited to write it from Zim's perspective in chapter 7. I hope you liked it! Remember, R&amp;R and have a great day!<strong>


	8. Chapter 6

**Yay, new chapter! *slings cookies at the readers* How is everyone? Ready to keep this story going? Great! Here's our update on poor little Skoodge. This chapter's pretty interesting, not gonna lie. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it! I'm busy nomming on buttered spaghetti though, so I best be going! See ya'll next time!  
>Irken-love,<strong>

**TheWhyteRabbyt**

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><p><span>Chapter 6<span>

I didn't remember how I had gotten here. The freezing fog had encrusted my eyelids and all I remembered was collapsing on the frost-slick stone. I had lost sight of the ship _and_ my companions. Yet somehow, by the grace of the powers that be, I had made it here…alive, and in one piece.

Opening my eyes blearily, I studied my surroundings. It…was a cave. The wind whistled eerily outside, causing me to jump up and hide behind a rock. I rubbed at my eyes to see clearer, calling out to whoever was around and had saved me.

"He-hello? …Is anyone there?" I wandered deeper into the cave, which was lit by strange, white icicle-shaped crystals. Suddenly, an impossibly loud squeak echoed through the cave. I jumped behind another rock. A shadow appeared on the wall in the distance. It…it was _huge_! With large antlers! I began trembling as the creature came closer and—

"Squeak!" Min…Minimoose? I peered around the rock and came face to face with the little bug-eyed creature. He smiled happily at me, wiggling his nubs of doom. I sighed, patting him on the head gently.

"Wow, little guy…you gave me quite a scare…. Did you save me?" Minimoose nodded, chirruping happily.

"Thanks, Minimoose. Hey, did you happen to find Gir?" Minimoose lowered his gaze and whimpered. I pet his synthetic fur sympathetically.

"Yeah, pal, I get you. Poor little SIR-unit never had a chance. Wish I could have helped him out." I removed an imaginary hat, holding it over my heart.

"Goodbye, Gir. You and your love of tacos will be forever missed." Minimoose began squealing out a death march.

A squeal of terror sounded in the distance. I wiped a tear from my eye.

"Aw, man…now I'm starting to _hear_ his little voice." Minimoose floated towards the entrance, suddenly squeaking and attempting to point with a nub.

"What's that? You said he's out there?" I ran over to Minimoose and peered out across the horizon. The blinding fog had cleared, leaving a ghostly landscape which glistened and reflected the moonlight. Far away, a monolithic silhouette lumbered across the scene. An echo reached us, coming from the direction of the shape.

"Why IS your head so _big_?"

Was it…Gir?

"COME ON, MINIMOOSE!" I charged across the rock surface, gesturing for the robot to follow me. "WE HAVE TO SAVE GIR!" The enormous dark shape seemed to pause its meandering for a moment, then turn and stare at us. Two glowing yellow eyes met mine, and I stopped in my tracks, fear hitting my blood colder than even the air around me. Minimoose paused his floating run to eye me curiously, as if to say, "Why are you stopping?"

No…it was impossible! How could they have survived? In all the history books at the Irken Military Academy, it stated _clearly_ that we had wiped them out ages ago! So why…why was I seeing a…a….

A _Jelly Yeti_?

The roar of the Jelly Yeti muted my voice as I shouted for us to run. Minimoose shrieked in fear. It was too late though. The Yeti was upon us in several rumbling leaps, screeching and flailing its massive fists. I glanced up at its dark, weathered face. The yellow eyes were piercing and mesmerizing, almost hypnotizing….

Minimoose slammed into me just as a weighty fist crashed into the area I had been occupying. We rolled into a sitting position, giving Minimoose a nod of thanks. The Yeti bellowed its rage, waving its arms in the air. A glint of silver caught my eye.

"It's Gir!" The poor little robot had obviously been flailed as much as he could stand, as his eyes and antennae had gone black. There was no time to really analyze it though, since the Yeti was charging again.

"Run Minimoose! Back to the cave!" Minimoose nodded and darted away, making a beeline for our shelter.

_Almost there…almost there! _I dove at the last minute, launching myself through the entrance of the cave.

_SQUELCH!_

The horribly slimy sound was so loud it knocked me forward onto the icy ground. Minimoose whined.

Sitting up and scratching my head, I turned to see what had happened.

A thick wall of purple jelly-like substance had clogged the opening to the cave, wiggling and flexing as it dripped sticky trails of purple ooze onto the floor. I peered through it, catching sight of the Yeti. It roared in triumph, its fingers still dripping purple from its final attack, and began stomping away.

"No! Gir!" I yelped and launched myself at the purple wall, hoping to knock it down. Instead, I stuck to it, stretching it like a slingshot. In a matter of seconds, the entire setting had spun around me and I found myself stuck to the flexing wall—upside down. Minimoose floated to me, chirping sadly. I sighed, defeated.

"I know Minimoose…but we'll find a way, I promise. Now help me down from here." Minimoose nodded and proceeded to hook is antlers around my waist, ripping my back away from the slimy wall. I winced, groaning at the back of my throat and being hit with the memory of waxing my back on a dare. I hit the ground with a _thud_.

Minimoose nudged my face, whining unhappily. I sat up and patted his head.

"Don't worry; we'll get him back." I glared at the retreating figure of the Yeti.

"I promise."

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><p><strong>By the way, I'm working on some concept art of Gaz hanging out with the Vampire Piggy Hunter (who we all know is sorta Zim). I'll be posting it on deviantArt, but I'm wondering if ya'll would like a fanpage on Facebook? All my work and art and stuff will be posted, and I can have lovely little chats with you guys. Let me know what you think! R&amp;R, and have a great day!<strong>


	9. Chapter 7

**Yay! It's time for some ooey-gooey ZaGr! Raise your hands if you're ready! YEAH! WOOHOO!**

**Anyway, I'm really missing reviews...no one's telling me if this is good or bad or what they want to see. I'm trying to shoot in the dark, understand? I hope this delicious chapter inspires some of you lazies to type up just something as small as a "Yay I like it!" So, here we go!**

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><p><span>Chapter 7<span>

The human worm-baby lay sleeping, peaceful in her slumber. I watched her belly rise and fall with her quiet breathing, wondering absently if _I_, the almighty Irken _Zim_, looked so nice while sleeping. She mumbled softly, and I briefly wished that I was brave enough to place my face next to hers…perhaps even place a kiss on that pale cheek. Suddenly, her heavily-lashed eyes fluttered open, exposing the fiery brown orbs beneath her lids.

"Where. Am. I. _Zim_?" She growled, her sharp-looking teeth reminding me of a shlorr-beast. I put on my best evil smirk and gazed half-lidded at her, hoping to convey my _awesome superiority_!

"Good morning, _little_ Gaz…" I began nonchalantly. "Never mind where you are: it's impossible for your big-headed sibling to _ever_ find you…unless I _let_ him, of course." I chuckled darkly. The pretty creature sat up at inhuman speed, her bob of amethyst hair swaying to frame her lovely little face in such a way that I felt the great Irken artists themselves would wish to paint her. Before I could compliment her, she had me by the collar, her firm, combative stance reminiscent of an Irken foot soldier.

"Zim, you tell me what's going on before I doom you to the Underworld before your time." She hissed. Her breath smelled like apples, a not-altogether unpleasant scent, even if I had never been able to taste them. I took her fist in my gloved hands and pushed it away gently.

"Tsk, tsk…. You're planning to 'doom' me anyway…what is in it for _Zim_?" She wrenched her hand away.

"What could _you_ possibly think you deserve? You're lucky I didn't doom you in the street!" I leaned back, crossing my arms and shaking my head condescendingly.

"Simmer down, Gaz-beast. Zim is a natural businessman, and he will not tolerate you treating this like some savage human fistfight." I watched her anger boil up in her eyes.

"Shut up Zim, and face me like a soldier! You had your run and you hid for a while, but it's time to face my revenge." Her testy words caught my attention. I stood angrily.

"_Your _revenge? How…how DARE YOU!" I thrust an accusing finger in her direction. "_Zim_ is lucky you didn't doom me in the streets? If anything, it is _you_ who is lucky!" I glared at her, brushing some loose strands of hair back into place with a gloved fist. She placed her hands on her hips and stomped a boot.

"Why am _I _lucky, _Zim_?"

"You're _lucky_," I scoffed, "because I didn't exact a stronger revenge on your _pathetic_ human self while I was on Earth. You're _lucky_," I took a menacing step forward, "because I didn't do more to harm you." She threw hands in the air.

"What did _I ever do to you_? You treat me like I…like I denied your—your 'love', or some stupid soap opera-y thing! Dib told me you liked me, but if you did, then why would you treat me so awful?" My breath caught in my throat and my hands drooped at my sides. The human…how could she be so…_blind_? I turned a sheepish gaze to the floor, rubbing my neck. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her gaze change from accusing to something more akin to shock.

"Zim…. You…you hate me…." Her voice was soft, a gentle rasp I had only ever heard her use on Gir when he was sad. I stared at her sadly, my eyes burning from holding back tears. I felt my face grow hot and wondered how intense my emerald blush was.

"Zim…never hated you, little Gaz…. Zim just didn't know how to tell you." Her eyes widened again, and she took a shaky step back. I let my hands fall to my sides again.

"No, Zim…. I _know _you hate me. You told me you didn't want me around…and you…you reprogrammed Computer so I wouldn't have someone who loved me!" She looked up, almost pleading for it to be true. Shaking my head, I turned and peered through the blinds on the hotel window.

"I reprogrammed him…so he couldn't have you." I heard her little gasp, but was too ashamed to say any more.

It seemed ages passed in silence, but eventually I felt a hand gently pull my shoulder. I turned to face her and was met by her eyes—not harsh and angry, but soft, like Vortian honey.

"Zim…I never loved Computer." I cocked my head but ignored the animal gesture.

"Gaz-human, what are you saying?" Her eyes fell to the floor, and I thought I saw a soft pink spreading across her cheeks.

"Zim…I only went with Computer because I thought you hated me, and I wanted to show you that other people saw something worth liking in me. I wanted you to like me." Her voice fell to a whisper, "because I liked you so much myself." The pink that glowed across her face was quite intriguing. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, hoping to seize the opportunity to re-gain the upper hand.

"I…I knew all along!" I coughed, hoping she wouldn't see through my ruse. She chuckled gently…it was a delicious sound. I leaned my face close to hers, inhaling her apple scent.

"So…does Zim get a kiss to seal the proverbial deal?" She blushed, nodding gently. She leaned towards me. I closed my eyes in anticipation….

…and received a punch to the squeedilyspooch.

"Blargh!" I hacked in pain. "Gaz-love…w-_why_?" She smirked, heading for the door.

"You think I'd let you off _that_ easy? Let's go find Dib before he ruins everything."

Insufferable _human_!


	10. Chapter 8

**I AM SO, SO, SOOOO SORRY EVERYONE!**

**For the past few days, I have been absolutely swamped with end-of-senior-year work, and a terrible bout of depression. I know, that is no excuse at ALL to keep my faithful readers waiting, and it won't happen again. From now on, I will let you know if I have nothing to post in advance. I also think it's fair to warn you that, due to it being the last month of school and I _am _a senior, I will not be posting quite as often. However, I will be finishing this fic very soon! *throws confetti* as we speak, I am a busy bee planning out the rest of the plot. I hope you all don't hate me, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Irken-love,**

**TheWhyteRabbyt**

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><p><span>Chapter 8<span>

I looked at Tak. My stomach still fluttered, even though it seemed it was all for naught. She stared back at me, probably in as much shock as I was. Her lightly accented voice rang out, rousing me from my shock-induced reverie.

"Well...that was...awkward..." she drawled. I looked back over my shoulder at the alley entrance, wondering what had happened to Gaz when she had pursued Zim. He was in for a world of hurt for sure. I turned back to Tak.

"So...what happens now?" I ventured. She flipped her hair with a loose motion of her hand.

"I suppose I can just ask you to explain this all to me...civilly... Come on, human. I'll buy you a piece of floistcake."

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><p>The café was like nothing I had ever seen. It was more of a club, but Tak had explained that clubs on Floist were even more intense than this. Loud music blared throughout the dimly-lit building; a strong industrial beat with techno layering. I recalled the cybergoths that posted online from Germany, and thought this was very similar to what they were into.<p>

Tak led me to the bar, which was a strange, smooth material that glowed neon purple. The green-skinned bartender was cast in a garish light, rendering his pale eyes electric. He studied us appraisingly, then nodded after Tak waved her hand and snapped her fingers. Almost immediately, he slid two blue plates at us. I poked the substance. It was a dense sponge-like material, and appeared to be a very dark brown. Tak broke off a piece of hers and popped into her mouth, coughing delicately. I watched her, losing myself in her richly-colored eyes.

"I suppose you're wondering if it's safe for humans." She startled me.

"Wha—I mean… Yes." She raised an eyebrow before nodding.

"As long as it's not the petrified stuff, humans can eat it. Go on; see what you think." I gulped, nodding and leaning over the strange sweet. Slowly, I pinched off the corner and raised it to my lips, inhaling the scent first. It smelled…cinnamon-y…. I placed it in my mouth…and immediately started hacking.

"_What _is _in _that stuff?" I continued choking on the heavily-spiced cake. Tak chuckled.

"I didn't know humans had _such _weak palates… You all really should get out more. It carries the strongest spice from each district on Meekrob; it has been known as a delicacy across the entire universe…except in your small quadrant, it seems." She continued chuckling. I choked down the dense, bread-y material and wiped my mouth.

"I thought you were going to be civil?" I mumbled sarcastically. I thought I could get away with it under the heavy music of the café, but Tak's antennae were more adept than I thought.

"I do not appreciate your sarcasm, _boy_. It seems my 'attempt' at civility was useless; now, straight to business." She pushed her plate away in a rough manner. I wilted. She swiveled the bar chair to face me and crossed her arms, flipping her purple hair.

"Tell me how this all began, _human_. Oh, and don't even _think_ of wasting my time. I want to know how you all managed to launch yourself into one of the most dangerous cities you could." I sighed.

"Okay, Tak…"

…and I told her. I told her how Zim eventually fell for Gaz and how Gaz had been dying to leave Earth for years. I told her how I had tried to help Zim stop being an idiot (a statement which made the corners of her mouth curl ever-so-slightly). Then, I told her how Gaz couldn't take being rejected and sought revenge by beginning to date computer.

"A foolish thing to do," Tak interrupted. I cocked my head.

"Why do you say that?" She fluttered her butterfly eyelashes.

"Because…Hell hath no fury like an Irken scorned." I placed a finger to my chin.

"I thought it was 'woman', not 'Irken'…" Tak's cheeks seemed to darken, but it could have been a trick of the light. She faced her plate and pushed the crumbs around.

"Yes, well…that too…" She seemed to retreat into herself. I saw this moment as a moment of vulnerability on her part, and seized my opportunity. I reached a hand along the bar, slightly brushing fingertips with hers.

"Tak…it's been a while…" I saw her peer sidelong at me. Her cheeks darkened deeper.

"I've missed you, Tak." I took her whole hand in mine and leaned closer to her. She turned to me. Her eyes seemed to grow very shiny for a moment, and then she blinked…and all her cool, calculating self was back.

"Dib… I was never your friend… it was all a cover." She stood and jogged to the entrance, slamming her body against the doors to quicker aid her escape. I was never one to sit by and do nothing, so I jumped up and ran after her.

"Tak, wait!" She stalked away, her arms still folded in front of her. I caught up easily and grabbed her arm, swinging her around to face me.

"I'm not asking for anything huge, Tak… and I don't care if it was a cover. It was still the best friendship I have ever had. Can't things be like that now…for real? Can't we be friends?" Her thick lashes fluttered up as she stared into my eyes with her deep indigo ones.

"You're…not asking for much?" I shook my head. She eyed me suspiciously.

"And you don't hate me for lying to you?" I shook my head, beginning to smile.

"Then…" her voice grew soft as she took my hand in a firm handshake. "Friends, it is."

My heart fluttered, _Thank you, Tak._

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim.<strong>


	11. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone! I've missed ya'll! Here's the latest update...it's about to crazy up in here! Megadoomers and stuff ;D**

**I hope you enjoy! Thanks for your time and reviews!**

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><p><span>Chapter 9<span>

I followed Zim cautiously, occasionally blinking up at the back of his head. Pik was in idle mode, folded up in a compact tin and held in Zim's Pak. I had my hands folded in front of me, a picture of submission.

What a good actor I was.

I watched the bead of jade-colored sweat slide down Zim's neck into his collar and smirked; he knew I was the one running the show around here, and he knew he had a limited time of finding my idiotic brother and his as-if girlfriend before he had to suffer my wrath. He reached up to tug slightly at his collar, and my smirk deepened.

"It would appear," he half-shouted over his shoulder, attempting to throw his voice at me and drown out the din of the marketplace, "that your big-headed sibling and my arch-nemesis are masters of disappearing." I watched his jaw slide back and forth, a movement hinting at him grinding his teeth. He slowed his brisk pace to meander, and then stopped and looked at me with an expression of helplessness. Closing my eyes haughtily, I raised my interlaced fingers and cracked my knuckles. The jade sweat began rolling profusely down his face. My soul made the tiniest of _squee_ noises in pleasure. Then, over Zim's shoulder, I saw them.

Dib and Tak were pushing through the crowd. Or, rather, _Tak_ was pushing and Dib was ambling dreamily after her.

Weirdo.

Zim studied my gaze and followed it, seeing the odd couple in the distance. He smirked, turning to me and thrusting a pointer finger in the air.

"_See? _Zim has _found_ the big-headed Dib-stink and the Tak-demon!" He gestured at them and smiled, as though they were an offering to appease the god of my wrath. I crossed my arms and let my smirk fade.

"Very well," I rasped. "Lead the way to them, _'almighty' _Zim." I snorted derisively. Zim nodded, missing my jab and marched away in his goose-step. I followed, rolling my eyes affectionately.

Before we made it far, fate had decided our doom.

A particularly short merchant, apparently without the brain capacity to watch where he was going, decided to run across the street with a platter of liquefied floistcake strapped to his head. I saw it coming before it happened; Zim was stomping along with his eyes closed, and the idiot in front of us was just _pelting_ ahead, full speed. It all seemed to be in slow-motion. The little merchant ran, tripped on the skirt of a ridiculously-big-dressed woman and spilled his tray.

All. Over. Zim's. Shirt.

I winced. The entire marketplace froze. Dib and Tak gaped at the scene. Zim stared down at his shirt, his face deceivingly calm. I pictured him as a rubber band being stretched by an unintelligent junior higher. As his eyes grew colder and calmer, and his mouth stretched thinner, the rubber band prepared to break. Then it did.

"YOU _INSOLENT_ FLOIST-BEAST! With your _filthy_ obsession with your _pitiful_ Meekrobian sugar-garbage! HOW _DARE_ YOU DEFILE THE FABRICS OF THE MIGHTY IRKEN _ZIM?" _ My heart stopped, and my voice, unrecognizable, squeaked out almost inaudibly.

"Dead." I felt as though I was three inches tall when the marketplace began to fill with accusatory whispers.

"Irken?"

"Irkens aren't allowed within Meekrobian borders…."

"How did an Irken get past the Megadoomers?"

I looked over at Dib and Tak, who had been jostled by the enclosing crowd so they were fairly close to us. Dib looked at me, paler than ever before. Tak reached behind her to grab is hand. I closed my eyes and pressed a fist to my forehead. There was the sound of marching and suddenly I felt an ominous presence nearby. I peered through my fingers.

Large Floist-Meekrobians who appeared to be wearing armor had appeared at one side of the crowd. The one at the front of their formation wore an elaborate indigo helmet and held a strange metallic device which resembled a controller. Zim finally snapped out of his evil-doom-glare he was sending the little merchant and took in the setting. He stepped back towards me, lightly raising his arms in a protective stance. I watched his eyes widen as he took in the sight of the metallic controller, and then narrow as he eyed the soldiers challengingly.

"You wouldn't," he hissed quietly. The guard eyed him, his expression unreadable.

He pressed the button on the controller.

Faster than I would have thought possible, Zim turned and launched himself at me. The pair of us rolled down an alleyway, and where we had just been standing there was an explosion of dust and cake. I coughed and stood up, pushing Zim aside and dusting off my dress. I walked forward and waited for the dust to clear…I was sorry I did.

A robot that seemed about nine feet tall was standing from where it had been kneeling on one knee; its oversized fist had left a crater as wide as I was tall in the red-dirt street. Time stopped as the robot turned what could only be assumed was its face, and locked its red eye-lights with my eyes.

Chaos erupted.

The marketplace shattered; screams echoed as people cried out, "Megadoomer!" and "Run for your lives!" Zim grabbed my hand and pulled me down the alley as lasers erupted from the building behind us.

We were _so _dead.


	12. Chapter 10

**YEAH! WHOOOOOOO! I'M FINALLY BACK!**

***Ahem* **

**I've _really_ missed you guys, and I apologize for taking _so _long to update! I had a big project due for school and I practically tore my hair out to get it done in time, and I also got struck witha creative-genius idea. I started a website and it's doing pretty good. It would be great if you all peeked in at it, and it would mean a lot to me. Just type thewhyterabbytlife(dot)weebly(dot)com in the address bar*blush* Now that it's up and running smooth, I'll probably be finishing up this pretty fast. There's only about four or five chapters left, and I _finally _figured out how to end it. It's all outlined so it won't be too long before I post the end of this epic tale! Lol jkjk Anyway, I give you... *drumroll***

**SKOODGE!**

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><p><span>Chapter 10<span>

I rubbed my aching stomach.

Three days….

Three. Godforsaken. _Days_!

Time had begun to blur together after Minimoose and I had been trapped in the cave by the Jelly Yeti. Minimoose had laid out a plan to attempt to carve a pathway through the thick purple goo and eventually lead us to freedom, but I had my own methods of doing things.

I said, "Let's eat our way out", and that's exactly what we did.

It had taken three days and it had been three days since of bellyache and…bad bathroom experiences. The trek across the frozen wasteland had been harsh—Jelly Yetis every so often and no food other than the toxic sludge that had caked up my insides. Minimoose had to stop often to "release" his processed version of the jelly…a rather odorous liquid that resembles human oil. Eventually, by following the deep footprints of the Jelly Yeti that had taken Gir, we reached the cave that we determined to be its hiding place. We were in worse condition than I had hoped for, being covered in our own excrement and resembling the human military hero Rambo, but we were here…ready to rescue our friend.

I turned to Minimoose, who was sprawled across the frozen stone ground, exhausted. He peered up at me with his bug eyes and whimpered softly.

"I know little buddy, I know." I patted his head encouragingly. "Unfortunately…" I turned my gaze to the hated cave. "We gotta do this, for Gir!" Minimoose reluctantly floated upwards and we began to stalk forward.

As we reached the entrance, we heard a low growling. I assumed it was the enormous beast from before.

"Careful, Minimoose. The beast is _huge_." Minimoose squeaked quietly. Suddenly, a high-pitched shriek ricocheted around us.

"Where'd you put my piggy? WHERE'D YOU PUT MY PIGGY?" A large boulder flew over our heads and smashed on a cliff-face behind us. I turned to Minimoose; he nodded. I raised my fist and we leapt forward.

"CHARGE!"

We rushed into the cave, but the sight that met our eyes staggered us to a stop.

Our ship was resting on a small butte of stone in the center of a huge, domed cave. Gir was running around like a madman, kicking small stones and throwing giant boulders when a small rock wouldn't suffice. He lifted up a stone and peered under it.

"Piggy? Is that you? Where are you piggy?" He threw the rock and began squealing again, and then stopped to suck on a foot. Minimoose and I approached him uncomfortably.

"Um…Gir?" He looked up at me, silent.

"Are you…here alone?" He looked around the cave—left and right—and turned to stare at me. He scrunched his face up in a super-smile.

"Yeah, I think so!" He shoved a rock in his mouth, promptly spitting out after attempting to chew. "It burns!" He stood up and began to run around, giggling. Minimoose and I shared an exasperated glance and then climbed the butte, studying the ship for damage.

"It seems fine," I said, running a hand over the surface. "I say we start her up and get back to our mission." Minimoose squeaked in agreement but turned to look at Gir warily. I followed his gaze.

"Yeah…we should probably try capturing him first." Minimoose raised a nub of doom faster than I could blink and shot an electro-bolt at Gir. Gir screamed and his eyes went black.

"DID YOU JUST _KILL _HIM?" I ran to Gir and cradled him, unbelieving of what just happened. Minimoose shook his body left and right to convey "No". I sighed.

"You gotta warn me in advance of those things, Minimoose…." He whimpered. I patted his head, "It's okay, don't beat yourself up. We got the job done and that's what counts!" He smiled and we loaded Gir into the ship, following after him. I eased into the driver's seat and sighed; it felt like coming home.

"We're almost out of this mess, boys. Let's just get it over with." I pushed the joystick forward, and then the sound of nightmares rang in my ears. Minimoose squeaked in terror and Gir woke up and began shrieking. I turned involuntarily, my eyes widening in terror.

The Jelly Yeti was charging out at us from the back of the cave, roaring and flailing its fists. Its yellow eyes glowed in rage, froth flying from its open maw. If I had been a lesser Irken, my bowels would have released at that moment. However, I was an Elite, and I had more self-control than that. Instead, I screamed like a smeet and kicked the joystick forward, blasting us out of the cave in a maelstrom of steam and fusion residue. As we shot across the tundra, I turned again to see the Yeti, charging its fist to shoot a blob of jelly at us. I was too frozen with terror to move, but Minimoose leapt—er, _floated_—to action and pushed the joystick to the left.

A huge blob of jelly grazed the side of the ship, coating it in a drippy, purple substance. My brain took control again and I began maneuvering, as our lives _did, _in fact, depend on it. Blobs of jelly went left and right and our ship shot forward like a giant insect. I saw a ledge in the distance and marked is as our point of launch. As we launched forward off of the cliff, a single shot of jelly hit the tip of one of the razor-wings and the ship lost control. I tried holding the joystick, but it was too strong.

The last thing I remember was a sudden heat, and darkness surrounding me.

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><p><strong>(Random) Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with <em>Invader Zim<em>.**


	13. Chapter 11

**I cannot describe to you the awesomeness of this chapter. Maybe I'm just riding high on the romance, cuz the chase scene sucks, but this chapter is frickin' cool. So read and review and have an AMAZING, FANTASTIC, ZAGR-KIND OF DAY!**

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><p><span>Chapter 11<span>

"Why would you _do_ such a thing?"

My ribs felt as though they would shatter any moment; my lungs were on fire. Zim and I skidded to a stop behind what appeared to be a dumpster. I took in ragged gasps, too tired to even think about how long it had been before I had a drink of water. Zim breathed silently but quickly, like a cat. His wide mouth was open very slightly; I could see his bizarre tongue moving forward and back with his panting. I looked away suddenly, consumed with disgust that I was starting to blush at noticing such a detail. He caught my sudden movement and ceased his panting, eyeing me warily.

"Why is your face all red?" My hands bunched into fists, pulling on the wrinkles in my leggings. He was so…so _blunt _and…_human _sometimes. I shook my head to clear it.

"Just answer the question, _Zim_." I straightened up and crossed my arms, glaring at him. My glare was lost when I realized he was checking his wig in a small hand mirror. I growled and he turned to me questioningly.

"Wha—oh, YES! Yes, I am Zim." I growled at him and he blinked. "What was the question?" He gazed at me with what I assumed was supposed to be a "flirtatious" expression. I slapped him.

"Why are you _such _an _idiot?_" I hissed. He rubbed his cheek and, instead of retaliating, grinned.

"Oh-ho! Little Gaz-love…are we having our first…'lover's spat'?" He winked. I fumed.

"Shut _up_, you moron! Why weren't you paying attention to the idiocy that was leaving your mouth? You blew our cover and now we're going to _die_." He crossed his arms and turned at an angle to me, closing his eyes haughtily.

"The almighty _Zim_ had it all planned out! Zim knew what he was doing!" Before I could respond, the stolen Megadoomer burst through the wall behind us, a laser glinting from its outstretched fist. I glanced sidelong at Zim.

"You had a plan? Ok, genius. What's the plan?" Zim gazed at the robot with his eyes narrowed before throwing a fist in the air and turning on his heel.

"Zim say 'RUN!" …and he did. I rolled my eyes and dodged the laser as it launched a small rocket at me, following him as fast as I could. My legs were burning with lactic acid; I wasn't active often enough. I resolved that if I survived, I would incorporate exercise somewhere in between videogame regimens. Zim's wig bobbed ahead of me, helping me distract myself from the robot's wall-smashing behind us, but then he suddenly disappeared. I skidded to where he had been last and—all too late—realized I shouldn't have followed a moron.

"OW!" I landed on something warm but slightly pointy. I scrunched my eyes shut until I heard the robot pass overhead. Then, I opened my eyes and found myself across Zim's chest. We blushed at the contact and I scrambled away. Zim coughed into a fist. I seized the awkward opportunity to study our surroundings. It was a dimly-lit, dusty little chamber. Wooden crates that looked blackish-blue were stacked in the corners, and a few red drapes were hung on the wall.

"Where…_are _we?" I glanced at Zim, whose wig had fallen partially across his eyes, making their ice-blue color even more striking. I glanced away, more subtly this time, to avoid another blush. He sat against the other wall, with his elbow propped up on his knees. He gazed around the room until his eyes settled on me. He shrugged.

"It appears to be a basement tunnel, but Zim is unsure." I smirked.

"So you're saying…you may be _wrong_?" I opened my eyes to pierce him with my amused gaze. He winced.

"NO! Zim is just saying that there are many things which this place could be, but he is too lazy to list all of them." I crossed my legs in front of me and decided to change the topic.

"Why do you speak in third person?" Zim's pale eyes glinted, making my stomach flip-flop.

"Why do you speak in first?" He drawled. I rolled my eyes…

…and launched forward.

"OW! GOD!" I hit the wall next to Zim and got up slowly, rubbing my arms. Zim was already on his feet, staring at the wall in horror.

Apparently, there had been a door there.

The Megadoomer had found it.

I found myself being dragged along the passageway, Zim gripping my hand tightly with his own. The robot chased us; shooting laser blasts every chance it got. One narrowly missed us; it burned a slice in Zim's uniform. We eventually came upon some stairs and ran up, squeezing through the grate at the top. We kept running. I caught the sound of the robot trying to squeeze through the stairway. Zim led me behind a boulder. He pressed my back against it and stood in front of me, his hands on my shoulders.

"I need you to do something for me." He stared into my eyes. I tried not to flinch.

"Like…what?" He looked away and gulped, and then looked back.

"You may not see it, but my ship is in the distance, behind us. I recognize this boulder because of the shape." Where was he going with this…? I nodded, hearing metal scrape on metal as the Megadoomer rubbed its arm on the grate.

"I'm going to go get my atomatizer gun, but I can't have the Megadoomer following me." My stomach clenched and I looked at our feet.

"So…where do _I_ come in?" It was a stupid question; I already knew. Zim sighed.

"I need you to create a diversion." He looked up at me, his eyes glossy. "For Zim." I sighed and waved a hand in the supposed direction of his ship.

"Go on, then." He smiled, and then did the unexpected.

He kissed me.

Every organ in my body seemed to go numb, and an ice-fire sensation ran up my legs into my arms and head at an alarming rate. I trembled as his cool lips stayed perfectly still, locked in place. Somewhere a tiny voice in my head whispered, "Such a gentleman." He pulled away suddenly and began running towards the horizon. I cleared my head by force and yelled after him.

"YOU'RE A DEAD ALIEN, _ZIM_!" He paused and turned.

"SO I'M A GOOD KISSER?" I picked up the nearest rock and threw it at him. It hit him in the squeedilyspooch area and he fell over. After a few seconds, he got up and kept running. I heard an enormous crash and walked around the rock to do my job.

"Okay, robot. Let's dance."


	14. Chapter 12

**Hello again, my lovelies! If you adore Tak, Dib, and _especially _DaTr, I think you will adore this chapter. It's my favorite after the last chapter ;) Enjoy!**

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><p><span>Chapter 12<span>

The city erupted into pandemonium around us, but time seemed to slow. Dib pulled my hand close behind him, forcing me to follow wherever he may lead. It was an odd position for an Irken soldier to be in, yet I found that I didn't mind; in fact, I almost _enjoyed _the feeling. We were jostled by the hundreds of pedestrians who had clogged the city marketplace. Cake was strewn across the ground, the red soil turned bloody by the liquefied cake beverages that had spilled everywhere. I glanced up to where Dib was leading, the seemingly midday sun a harsh backdrop to the chaotic setting. Dib glanced back at me, concern on his face…and then he smiled. My squeedilyspooch tightened.

What was happening to me?

Here I was, a would-be Irken Elite, trained to only pay attention to the necessities; to be cold and calculating…and, oftentimes, cruel. Yet here I was on a foreign planet, dangerously close to losing my life to my own people's stolen technology, grasping the hand of a human boy…and analyzing it all in the most poetic way in my head.

Either something was about to change, or the author of this fan-fiction was a loony.

Suddenly, we found ourselves standing before a roadblock of citizens. People were everywhere, screaming. The mechanical roars and explosions echoed behind us all, threatening the people to riot in their hysteria. I pressed close behind Dib, who seemed to be thinking hard. In the blink of an eye and the twitch of an antenna, Dib made a 360° and pulled me down an alley, around a corner and to the side of the building, where a basement door lay ajar. He paused and looked at me.

"How did you know to find this?" I asked.

"Well," he held a hand to his chin, ever ponderous, "shortly before Gaz and I landed here, we were researching this planet. I noticed that it said frequent tornados of dust ravage the outskirts of various cities, so I figured there would be some sort of bunker out here on the edge." He smiled at me, pleased with himself. The sunlight hit his eyes at an angle, lighting his brown irises up like fire. I hoped he didn't know what Irken blushes looked like.

An explosion sounded in the distance and Dib pulled me down the stairs, slamming the door shut behind us. We were in darkness.

"Well," I heard him say, "That was stupid of me." I chuckled.

"Tak? Where are you; I can't see anything." I pictured him stumbling around with his arms outstretched. Something bumped into me and I felt arms around my sides. I squeaked.

"…I take it I found you." I felt his breath flutter my hologram hair. It smelled gentle and clean, like a freshly-washed uniform. The heat of his face washed against mine. I was glad we were in the dark, because I was _positive_ I was blushing.

"Yes, Dib…you found me." He was silent for a few moments.

"Tak?"

"Yes, Dib?"

"…You smell nice. Like lavender. It's very calming."

"…Thank you."

"Tak?"

I heard the fabric of his trench coat rustle as he stepped closer to me, our bodies now close.

"Yes…Dib?"

His lips touched mine. They were warm and dry and soft, and they made my squeedilyspooch fly up into my chest. My antennae twitched; I could hear his heartbeat. It was fluttering, quiet but fast. My legs started to go weak. He pulled away, leaning so that his lips brushed past my antennae.

"I missed you, Tak. Can't we be more than friends? Don't you see how we fit?" I felt myself melt. I pulled away from him slightly, finding a wall and sliding down to sit against it. I kept hold of his hand so he could follow and sit beside me.

"Dib…I lied to you; I used your friendship to gain information and keep up my ruse of being a human. Why don't you hate me?" He rested his head against my cheek.

"I don't hate you because you were still the best friend I had ever had…I never laughed so much before that week, and I haven't laughed so much since. You even beat up Zim for me." I heard his throaty chuckle.

"Don't you care that I'm an alien, Mr. Paranormal Investigator?" His lips brushed my antenna and he whispered ever-so-quietly.

"I gave up on hunting aliens years ago; it's just ghosts and Bigfoot for me these days."

I couldn't resist a chuckle and leaned closer to him. We sat in silence, listening to the sounds of rampaging above, and not really caring.

"So does that mean you finally give in?" He asked quietly.

"…Yes."

I felt his strong, thin fingers gently grip my chin and lean my face towards him. His lips pressed against mine again and this time, I kissed him back. He tasted like summer on Gaskookasplorchia, when the lakes sent a warm breeze across the camping meadows and the birds were chirping. It reminded me of the time before I had attended the Academy, when things were simpler and I pondered beauty more often. I wondered what lavender smelled like, but gave up, just focusing on the perfect kiss that was taking place.

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><p><strong>And because I don't remember the last one...<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with _Invader Zim_.**

**Btw, PLEASE VISIT MY WEBSITE, thewhyterabbytlife[dot]weebly[dot]com!**


	15. Chapter 13

**I'm so sorry it's been so long! I've been trying to put this chapter together so it sounded cool, meanwhile juggling the last big projects I have before graduation...and breaking the law. Just kidding about that last part, but it came _this_ close! Anyway, I'm thinking of releasing a special edition, re-edited with bonus material double feature of _It Really Irks Me _and _In the Realm of Ice and Fire_ so that people can just read the whole thing through, with no mistakes. Tell me what you think!**

**I feel kinda bad about this chapter's quality...it just seems...forced. I don't know, I hope you like it!**

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><p><span>C<span>hapter 13

I cracked open an eye warily. My whole body felt stiff and dusty; my eyes felt glued shut. The fiery, blinding sun made me regret my eye-opening and I shut it again. I tried moving to see if anything was broken. The rubber in my gloves crackled grotesquely and my pants were stuck in places no pants should ever be. I winced as I attempted to stand with my eyes shut. I shielded them with a hand and opened them again.

I was standing in front of my ship, which was slightly crushed in the front, as it had fallen from the towering Cliffside above. Gir was lying on the ground a few feet away, knocked out. Minimoose was still in the ship, either stunned or asleep. The sun was brutal, causing me to sweat almost instantly, not to mention making it _incredibly_ difficult to see far across the desert horizon. I tried dusting off my uniform, but my gloves started flaking away. Shrugging, I marched back to the ship and poked at Minimoose nervously. His eyes opened and he yawned, chirruping happily.

"Nice to see you're okay, little buddy." I smiled at him, then gestured at Gir. "I don't think he's too well, though." Minimoose floated over to Gir and nudged his arm. I followed and turned him over. The little robot's eyes were black, along with the light on his antenna. I opened his chest to root in the wires, finding one of his main circuits taped together.

"_This _is what Zim calls fixing a robot?" I shook my head and wiggled the connection, pulling out a ray gun to sear it together. Gir's eyes flickered on as soon as I shut his chest compartment.

"Does the piggy hafta go to the bathroom _again_?" He squealed. I patted him on the head, standing to gaze at our surroundings.

"I…I don't really know what to do right now." Minimoose nudged my shoulder comfortingly. Suddenly, a screech sounded above us. We looked up. Something pink and very fat swooped down over us, screeching high-pitched. This elicited a happy shriek from Gir, along with applause. I looked at Minimoose, who wiggled his antlers as if to shrug. The screech sounded again, and a swarm of the_ somethings _came at as, squawking. My instincts didn't have to tell me they meant no good.

"Run!" I picked up Gir who was giggling and launched back behind the ship, keeping close to the cliff side. Minimoose sped by, making a _whirring_ noise which I assumed to be his tiny motors working faster than ever before. Squawks and shrieks sounded above; I spared a glance back over my shoulder. A flock of maybe forty of the _things_ was following us, bobbing and flapping their wings angrily.

"What are those things?" I shouted above the wind, which had picked up, adding unwanted stress to the situation. Gir giggled madly.

"They's the flying piggies from Gazzy's game!"

"_What_?" Gir wiggled, probably trying to stand up despite being gripped in my arm.

"The human my master likes!"

Time seemed to stop for a moment…or maybe it just went silent, or some other cinematic effect.

Zim liked an _earthling_?

It wasn't possible!

Yet, I didn't even have time to ponder it, as I caught a foot on something, tripping and dropping Gir. Minimoose turned, squeaking fearfully. I rolled over, assuming it was my doom, when something _happened_.

Gir stepped over my stunned body, holding forth the strangest-looking gun I had ever seen. It was hot pink, first of all, and second of all, it had a pig-shaped head with an open mouth as its barrel. Gir ululated and began firing the weapon towards the shrieking flock of death above; a purple beam of light shot forth from the pig head's maw causing the immediate disintegration of some of the flying doom-pigs. The others paused their flight, turning feather to retreat. I stared at Gir in shock.

"Where'd you get that?"

"My master gave it to me!" He grinned, sticking his tongue out.

"Why would Zim have a gun to battle hog demons?" Gir looked at the bizarre gun and shrugged.

"Inono."

More cries from the hog demons were heard; I turned to face them, putting on my "bring-it-on" face.

"Gir?"

"Yeah, Mary?"

"Let me see that gun."


	16. Chapter 14

**Welcome to the finale.**

**Yes, we are reaching the home stretch, dear friends, readers, countrymen. These last few chapters are going to be epic, bizarre-filled gooey action-ness. This is how it's going to work: basically, I'm just going to cycle perspectives throughout each chapter, to help speed up the action. It might seem faster if multiple things seem to be happening at once. Also, prepare to hear a recently-popular song which will lend the grand finale battle sequence oddity. Yes, I am weird. Anyway, I want to thank you all again for coming along for the ride, I hope you enjoyed the story, and please let me know what you think about the Mega-Doom Mega-Edition Double-Feature Re-release? Huh? Huh?**

**Anyway, we're not out of the woods yet! There's still plenty fun to come. So, sit back, grab some Irken snacks and enjoy….**

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><p><span>Chapter 14<span>

My heart swelled; Tak _loved_ me! She did! My body was on fire and I felt as if I could fly or kick down a mountain. It was too good to be true! …but here I was, in her arms, able to kiss her whenever I wanted.

"Not _whenever_ you want…just often." She chuckled. I felt a blush rise; I _had_ to stop talking to myself! Suddenly, something dawned on me.

"The city is quiet." I felt Tak tense up against me, probably wondering the same thing I was. Where _was_ everyone? Where were the explosions, the screams…the chaos? I disentangled myself from Tak's slender arm and moved to stand. She whimpered slightly, coughing. I smiled to myself; she was probably trying to cover it up.

"Where are you going, Dib?" I felt her hand grasp my pant leg. I turned, trying to see her in the darkness.

"I'm just going to open the door a bit. I want to see if anyone's around, or if we can leave." She was silent for a moment, but I could hear her soft breath. She spoke up again.

"What if it's _not_ safe? What if we lose each other?" I reached down and took her hand, pulling her up to stand with me. I wrapped an arm around her waist and drew her close. Pressing my lips to where her antenna would be (I wasn't positive because of her disguise), I whispered gently.

"We can't stay here forever, can we?" I felt her head shake "no". I continued, "We have to go out and see if Zim and Gaz are all right." She scoffed teasingly.

"Zim-shim! …I am worried about your sister-unit, though." I reached up to stroke her hair.

"Yeah, me too. I hope Zim is taking care of her, at least."

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><p>Stone walls exploded behind me as I ran. Citizens of the stupidly pompous city screamed. I didn't blame them too much; I would scream (in rage) too if my apartment got demolished for a stupid reason. I growled as I spared a glance over my shoulder at the monolithic beast behind me. It was just so <em>fast!<em> I had strength, but years upon years of lazing around on the couch eating pizza didn't do much for stamina. My legs were burning again and my lungs felt like they had shriveled up into oyster-sized sponges. It was a tough call to wonder how long I could keep this up. I skidded to a stop and made a turn down a narrow alleyway, hoping to buy some time from the monster.

"Gaz!" My hair whipped across my face as I shot a glare at whoever _dared_ to say my name when I was so _clearly_ busy. Huh…it was _Dib_…with _Tak?_ I stopped in my tracks, dazed. They stared back, Dib with that stupid optimistic smile he always had. Loser.

I snapped back to attention when the buildings on either side of us started trembling, I looked back at the entrance to the alley in—dare I say it?—_fear_. The robot was trying to shove its way in. Dib scrambled up the stairs, tugging Tak along with him. Where had that girl's spunk gone? I mentally snorted, like _Dib_ could make a _girl_ swoon.

"Gaz, come on!" Dib pulled at my arm. I flashed my eyes at him furiously: not _me too!_ I yanked my arm away and shot forward, running again. I pressed a hand to my side, gasping for air.

"Gaz! What's going on? Where's Zim?" Dib was following me now, pulling Tak along, even though I saw she was getting tired of it.

"Zim's," I panted, "_busy!_" Tak pulled her arm away and sped up to reach me. The buildings started dropping stones. Dib squeaked. Tak looked at me, her purple eyes ablaze with the intoxication of battle. She made sense.

"What should we do?" I raised an eyebrow; the alien was hardly sweating! Hmm…it _was _a hologram though. I forced my brain—which had gone A.D.D. with adrenaline—to focus up. I wheezed; my throat was now dry and cracking.

"Help…distraction!" Tak nodded, smirking a smirk only an Irken could smirk. (Say _that_ five times fast!)

"You got it."

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><p>I fell to my knees, panicking.<p>

"Where? WHERE? _WHERE?_" I scrambled around in the dust, brushing my fantastic fingers across the ground. The ship! Where had it _gone_? Surely, _I_, the _amazing _Zim, had not misplaced it? My blood pumped in my ears, a little marching infantry all on its own. My Gaz-love…. I glanced back over my shoulder at the city, erupted with pandemonium. She was _back there_, alone! It was all _my FAULT!_ I pressed a clenched fist to my forehead, trying to think of anything I could do to find my ship faster.

The Temporary Disposable Robot!

A Pak leg extended to my hand and I grasped the disc, kissing it for luck. (_Darn_ those humans and their mannerisms which rub off on _Zim!_) I pressed the dark purple button in its center and set it on the ground, crossing my six fingers.

It rattled.

It _wiggled_.

It popped open! Pik stood, saluting.

"Hello. I am Pik, at your service. What are your orders?"

I grinned evilly. Why couldn't _Gir_ be like that?

"Pik...how would you like a _promotion_?"

The TDR smiled at me as if I'd said "Happy Birthday".


	17. Chapter 15

_**Ish-kabah! **_**I'm not sure if that's how you spell it, but whatever.**

**Holy crap, it's been too long! My humble apologies !*Japanese bow* I have been cramming every hour of every day to finish my homework in time to graduate. Luckily, I am finished. NO MORE SCHOOL, **_**FOREVER**_**! *Hitachiin elephant confetti* Now that I am free, I can finish this—my beloved story—for all you lovely readers who I seemingly abandoned. Without further ado, on with the show!**

**P.S. BioReck, it's all good! ;D *hugs!* Glad to have you back!**

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><p><span>Chapter 15<span>

The monster had finally got me.

Dib cried out in fear as the heavy metal arm scooped me up in one swift motion, launching me into the city wall (which was rather a joke: it was only five feet tall) and knocking the wind out of me. I gasped in pain as colors bloomed across my vision. I slid to the ground, numbly watching as the robot approached me, seemingly smug.

In the end, my contacts and _not_ my strength had failed me. Running as fast as I could, my hope had shattered as I blinked and the films of thin plastic stuck to my lid. I blinked again, rapidly; why was my vision blurry?

Two days old.

_Freaking two days old!_

Contact lenses are meant to be soaked overnight every day…. If you're lucky, you can wear them through the night once, but _only_ once. Not two days straight without a decent amount of water in your system. Without a proper wash, they become rubberized glue that sticks your lids to your eyeballs and you must cope—blind.

I was dead.

So here I was, staring blankly out across the ground as large metal feet clanked into my field of vision. The backs of my arms were sticky with blood from scraping on the wall—even my long sleeves had failed me. I looked up and the beam of light gazed back at me. Was there a brain behind that shell of an invention? Did it have a conscience? The robot lunged forward. I saw its plan: to crush me with a bent forearm.

Apparently, conscience was lacking.

I pressed the flats of my feet against the robot's arm to keep it at bay. It leaned in farther, threatening to crush me, despite the strength of my legs. I braced myself against the dirty stone wall and started to reflect on how this all came to be; why I was on a foreign, desert planet in what seemed to be a post-apocalyptic rendition of New York City dropped in the middle of the Sahara, complete with the sunset lighting.

I decided to blame Zim, since he started it all by being sent to stupid Earth. If only he had just been a good Invader, or even competent. Then, he would've stayed with the Irken Armada, and we would've never met.

We would have never fallen in love.

The robot pushed harder and I felt my legs start to tremble. I focused my now-lacking energy into them, trying to build up a barrier. Unfortunately, the dust had made my boots slippery and my feet lost their grip.

_Crack!_

The Megadoomer's target was reached; its forearm bore down on me with the strength of an entire flock of vampire piggies. I felt one of my ribs snap and I gasped, my vision spiraling. I blearily searched my surroundings.

Where was Dib? Where was Tak?

I couldn't breathe anymore. I was tired and hungry and blind. _Weak_. A warm darkness enveloped me, making me lean into its embrace like a lover's.

Goodbye, world.

Hello, death.

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><p>The TDR rode upon my Pak like Gir and I had ridden the Pig so many years ago. He screeched, but not with insanity; he screeched like the Tarzan-jungle-human when preparing to slaughter a <em>hideous <em>Earth-beast! I grinned evilly to myself instead, being far too _mature _to engage in his _pathetic_ (yet tempting) behavior.

The gate came into view and I pushed forward with my elite leg muscles.

…_To be a hero…on purpose._

I heard Gaz scream, my antennae perking up. Hydraulics and metal which grated together in a chilling laughter echoed through my head. The Megadoomer! A rising cloud of dust caught my eye; it was the same direction as the noise. I glanced at the gate. No time. I gathered my strength in my legs and launched upward like a cat-beast.

_…To protect, rather than destroy._

Anger flared in me as the horrific scene came into view. Gaz was pinned against the wall, her torso much shallower than a natural ribcage should be. The stolen Irken equipment was forcing all its weight on the forearm. Apparently, our natural cruelty was the only anthropomorphic material that made its way into the construction of our inventions.

_To be worthy of someone's love, no longer defective._

I landed on the Megadoomer's back, instinctually releasing my Pak legs to slice through its armor and hook in. The robot ceased its murdering of my love-pig and stood straight, turning its head in a 360° to glare at me with its eyebeam.

I bared my teeth in a ghoulish grin.

* * *

><p>They were coming. The music was following us. I had only wanted to help but I had doomed us all, regardless of whether or not Zim defeated the Megadoomer. An unlikely case, to say the least.<p>

"Why are you running from them?" Tak shouted at me over the noise. I spared a look over my shoulder at her.

"I'm running because they're _infectious_!" I increased my pace and Tak followed suit, speeding up to grasp my arm mid-run.

"It's _just _a _song_!" Why didn't she understand?

* * *

><p>I was getting colder…no…<em>hotter<em>? Where was I again?

Oh yeah, embracing death while being crushed by a giant robot of doom.

Wait a minute….

My eyes flickered open. I squinted, trying to see past my blurry contacts. I tried to reach up to get the stupid things out and shuddered. The pain shooting across my torso was beyond shrieks…it caused a silent inhale and my eyes watered. I lay in the dirt and looked up, wondering if the Megadoomer was going to try to kill me again. A green smudge stood out on the robot's back.

Zim?

Zim was standing on the Megadoomer's shoulders, grinning so wide it seemed like his zipper teeth would fall out. The Megadoomer had turned its head to glare at him. Oh no, my consciousness wheezed, the laser rockets!

The distinct sound of something charging up was heard and Zim chuckled. No, you're going to _die!_ Zim leaned forward, his face a threatening shadow.

"Ah, ah, ah! You're too slow." He leaned back and shouted in his usual passionate way, "As the human stink-beast in _MyRobot _(or whatever you call it) said…" he pressed the atomatizer to the robot's head, and his voice turned dark, "You have _so _got to die."

Purple flash, silence, and darkness. He had been too late.

* * *

><p><strong>Uh oooooh, a <em>cliffhanger<em>! Not too worry, I won't be so slow this time. Im working on the next chapter as you read this.**

***Voice of the Fish Narrator on _Spongebob* _WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO GAZ? DID SHE DIE? HOW DID THE BIG-HEADED DIB DOOM US ALL? DID _ANYONE _GET THE MOVIE REFERENCE WHEN ZIM KILLED THE MEGADOOMER?**

**Dib: My head's not big!**

***Sighs* Anyway, I best get back to work. Till next time, my lovelies!**

**~Invader-love! TheWhyteRabbyt~**


	18. Chapter 16

**AT LAST! I have returned (having graduated, went to an all-night party at the Hard Rock Café and gotten sick) to finish my story! By now, I'm sure I've lost most of my fan base, but who cares? This is for posterity! This chapter came up recently, and I **_**had**_** to do it. The shuffle-zombies forced me. What do I mean? Well, you'll see soon enough. Enjoy.**

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><p><span>Chapter 16<span>

Tak and I skidded to a stop. The Megadoomer lay against the city wall, a crater where its head used to be. Black soot surrounded its form in a small blast radius; Zim must have taken care of it. Tak touched my arm and I started. I turned to her. Her eyes stared ahead, glassy.

"Tak…?"

"Dib…your sister-unit…." My stomach clenched as I followed her gaze. Zim knelt on the ground, Gaz lying flat on her back, eyes closed. Pik, the tiny temporary robot knelt with her head in his lap, gazing with concern in his orange eyes. My spirit seemed to float to them.

"Zim…what…?" He looked up at me, his blue contacts glinting in the harsh desert light. For a moment my heart stopped; was Gaz…_dead_? Zim sighed breathily.

"Don't worry, Dib-stink, your sibling is alive." The universe seemed to breathe a sigh of relief with me. I knelt on Gaz's other side, gently placing a hand to her forehead. It was odd: when she wasn't threatening to doom someone or smashing my head against a spaceship windshield, she seemed almost…_fragile_.

"For once, I agree with you, big-head." Zim smirked to himself, "You sister _is _fragile, whether she would admit it or not." Darn it, still talking to myself out loud. I grimaced inwardly. The rising volume of a song that was all-too-familiar jarred us from the scene. Loudspeakers blared lyrics that baffled me.

_Party rock is in the house tonight_

_Everybody just have a good time…_

How had the Floist-Meekrobians gotten hold of human music? Zim's wig waggled on his head; most likely his antennae were twitching.

"What…_is _that sound?" He sneered, grimacing. Tak turned back toward the city, lightly tugging my sleeve.

_We're gonna make you lose your mind_

_Everybody just have a good time._

I glanced over my shoulder at Zim. He eyed me, concerned.

"Zim," I said warily, "have you ever heard of the Melbourne shuffle?"

"What is that, one of your pathetic human card games?" Zim scoffed. I slapped a palm to my forehead.

"Then you might want to take Gaz and exit the city walls."

"Dib…" I looked back at Tak and felt the blood drain from my face.

Surrounded.

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><p>I cradled my love-pig in my arms, ecstatic that I had rescued her. Yet this sound—this unrelenting, <em>horrendous<em> sound throbbed in my antennae. It sounded vaguely familiar. My gaze trailed to Pik, the TDR's eyes seemed to flicker with the pounding bass sounds that floated to us across the city. I looked at Dib and Tak questioningly. I started; the citizens had surrounded us…but why were they so _sparkly_? The loudspeakers of the city throbbed menacingly, and the citizens began what appeared to be an introductive, jerky, interpretative dance.

_Party rock is in the house tonight_

_ Everybody just have a good time_

_ We're gonna make you lose your mind_

_ We just wanna see you—_

The Dib-stink stiffened at the pause.

_SHAKE THAT!_

* * *

><p>Who the heck thought playing LMFAO music while I was trying to recover from my near-death experience was a <em>good idea<em>?

* * *

><p>"DIB! WHAT IS THIS <em>SOUND?<em>" I shouted over the electronic, rhythmic beeping. Dib's eyes shot towards me, wide with fear.

"JUST DO WHAT I DO!" He hopped and appeared to slide around on his feet, lighter than air. I tried and almost tripped myself. I growled in frustration. The citizens of the idiotic desert city jostled around in the same movements Dib was performing.

"JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!" Dib spun towards me on beat with the music, sweat sliding down his face. His large wick of hair dangled forward.

"It's a stupid song from Earth…their minds have been enslaved by cheesy club music!" He spun and jumped, clicking his heels together. I rubbed my temples and hissed.

"…but what does that _mean?" _He paused by me again as the music paused.

_ EVERY DAY I'M SHUFFLING._

"Music…" he panted, "_zombies!_" He grabbed me and spun me, yelling "Mimic!" He dashed about, his feet gliding across the sands and making him move like some sort of robot. I tried again. My feet slid about and I found myself spinning with the rest of them. What was this…witchcraft? Dib caught my eye and gestured at Zim, still cradling the sister-unit while he and the TDR gazed on in horror. I nodded. We shuffled back towards the group. Dib called over the loudspeakers.

"We need you to get to the gate and get your ship! We'll distract them." Zim's eyes were glazed over. Dib kicked sand in his face with a flourishing dance move. "Wake up, space-boy!" Zim blinked, growled and nodded, carrying Gaz and sliding towards the gate. Dib and I slid around in front of him, trying to guise his escape efforts. The Floist-Meekrobians stared blankly at us, their flashy clothes glinting in the honeyed sunlight. Zim dashed for the exit. Dib swirled me around him.

Why did this seem…_fun_?

* * *

><p>Whatever in the cosmos had happened back there, I was glad to be away from it. A chill ran from my Pak to my antennae and back—ugh, <em>dancing<em>. I pressed Gaz's unconscious body to mine, willing her to recover quickly. I pressed my head to her cheek as I ran: _Please, don't pass, my Gaz-love._

Luckily I had turned off my ship's cloaking; otherwise we would have been screwed. I grinned at my usage of pathetic human slang. The ship's shield opened up and I gently strapped Gaz to a disk gurney. The ship accepted her to the minute healing bay and got to work. Pik followed her, smiling at me over his shoulder. I sat in the drive seat and wiped the jade sweat from my brow. What an adventure _this_ turned out to be. I smirked.

Silly _love_.


	19. Chapter 17

**Ugh, I'm so excited I hardly know how to end this! It's gonna be hard, but I believe I can harness the Light Beam of Magical Inspiration Energy and make it through! Here goes nothing!**

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><p><span>Chapter 17<span>

Tak and I stood at the main gate, panting. I stared out across the sea of green aliens. Their expressions had been happy a minute ago, but on the third run-through of the Top 40 song, my stamina was shot. Tak kept going weakly, sliding around at a tempo half the speed of the ridiculous music. The Floist-Meekrobians started to glare at us. I sensed impending doom. _Where was Zim_?

A screech sounded in the distance.

How odd…that screech sounded like Gir. I shrugged, squirming uncomfortably as my sweat pasted my clothes to me. Tak glanced at me, delirious.

"I didn't know you wore skinny jeans." I eyed her, smiling despite the situation.

"I don't." We walked towards each other, preparing over-dramatically for our last embrace.

The world exploded around us.

* * *

><p>Dib and I fell to the ground, knocked off our feet from the sudden dust storm. I stammered.<p>

"W-what…just _happened_?" A sound akin to an Earthling cowboy's battle cry sounded. The dust cleared away and I rubbed my eyes—it wasn't _possible!_

"Stand back, you yellow-bellied space-zombies!" Skoodge aimed a bizarre-looking gun at the crowd, who moved away, murmuring. Thankfully, the abrasive music had stopped. Gir launched forward into the crowd and squealed as high-pitched as ever.

"YAAAAAY! I'm CROWD surfin'!" A fountain of rubber piggies erupted in the middle of crowd, along with—judging by the smell—a stink bomb. The crowd erupted into chaos once more and Dib and I found ourselves in danger of being trampled. He pulled me to my feet and pressed us flat against the wall. Suddenly, the loudspeakers crackled once more…with _Zim's_ maniacal laughter.

What _now_?

* * *

><p>I cackled into the loudspeaker at the top of the city's tallest skyscraper.<p>

"_Foolish_ cake-eaters! You will now suffer at the mighty hands of _Zim _for you offenses! I have placed a small fusion bomb on your radio tower, but despite its size, it has enough force to flatten the city!" I cackled once more, and then yanked the microphone from the wall. My _fantastic _brain had saved me once more! I would have to congratulate myself later with an extra ration of snacks. I slipped from the room like a wraith, jumping into my nearby ship and heading towards the main gate. I glanced out the window, smiling with delicious evil glee at the denizens of the capital city of Floist, who ran about in terror. They messed with the almighty _Zim,_ and they got the fist. I resisted the urge to yell, "Obey the fist" to the underlings. I had a Dib-stink and Tak to save.

* * *

><p>I ululated at the foreigners, brandishing the Pigonomatron gun—as Minimoose and I had dubbed it—in what I liked to imagine was a macho display of power. I attempted to step forward menacingly, but slipped and hit the ground with a squeak.<p>

"What in the name of the Tallest are _you_ doing here, Skoodge?" I glanced back and jumped up.

"_Tak?_" The female Irken placed her hands on her hips and sneered at me. She may have been wearing a holographic disguise, but I knew that look in her eye. It could only be _Tak_.

"Who'd you _think _I was?" A single bead of sweat slipped below my uniform's collar.

"Um…Zim…?" Anger flashed in her eyes and she moved to kick me, but was quickly restrained by a human boy smeared in green foundation. I scoffed at the attempt to pass for a Floist-Meekrobian.

"Tak, do you mind introducing us?" The boy smiled at her, causing her look to soften. I shook my head to clear my thoughts—were _all _the Irkens falling in love with humans these days? I lowered the Pigonomatron. Tak glared at me through slit eyes.

"Skoodge, this is Dib. Dib, this is Skoodge." I nodded curtly before panicking, suddenly remembering what Zim had just informed the city of.

"DON'T YOU THINK WE SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT THE _BOMB?_" Hydraulics hissed and a breeze ruffled our clothing. I turned along with the odd couple before me towards the source.

"Don't you think Zim has everything timed to _perfection_?" Zim winked at us, his wig a mess, his uniform torn. Never had he looked so disheveled…never had he looked so much a leader. I knelt and pressed a fist to my chest.

"Irken Invader Zim, I have come to-!" Zim chuckled in his raspy voice.

"Well, hello there _Skoodge_! Now, I know you're dying to hear of my conquering of Earth, but do you think it can wait? This city's about to explode." He smiled. This was _too _weird.

"YOU NEVER CONQUERED EARTH, YOU JUST-!" The human boy was silenced by a kiss from Tak, as her maroon ship appeared.

"Care to ride with me, Dib?" She fluttered her thick eyelashes at him. He looked at her dazedly.

"Y-yeah…okay…." I glanced at Zim's ship, which was preparing take-off. Minimoose appeared at my shoulder and squeaked at me happily. An orange and red robot appeared at my feet. He blinked at me with orange eyes.

"Excuse me, but who's going to drive my mistress's ship?" I glanced around curiously. The robot pointed outside the city, where a worn-looking ship was parked. A screech sounded behind me.

"ME! I WILL DRIVE THE DIB-SHIP!" Gir rushed towards the beater, pulling the orange robot with him. I turned to Minimoose.

"Well, it's us again, buddy."

"Chirp!"

So I climbed into my ship with Minimoose and pressed the launch sequence. My blue Cruiser rose into the sunset sky with Zim's purple Voot, Tak's Maroon ship, and the beater. As our small entourage made its way into the universe, the pompous and slightly ridiculous capital city of the planet Floist erupted into a purple explosion. I leaned back in the drive seat.

Who knew waking up in dookie would lead to an amazing adventure like _this?_

THE END

*cue your favorite "End of Epic Movie" song here*

*credits roll*

* * *

><p><strong>Zim: WAIT WAIT! YOU CAN'T JUST END IT THERE! ZIM COMMANDS IT!<strong>

**Me, wrapped in a sickburritoblanketbundle: Why **_**not?**_

**Dib: WHERE'S MY SISTER? SHE'S THE FRICKIN' MAIN CHARACTER!**

**Tak: Yeah, that **_**is**_** kind of cruel to your fans.**

**Minimoose: Squeak!**

**Me: All **_**right!**_** I'll do an epilogue! Now leave me alone….**

**Cast: YAY! (Gir: Brains!)**

(The _real _A/N) Somehow, ending with Skoodge seemed to be the best. Not to mention, it just worked out that way. I'm too delirious from being sick to tell if my writing is any good right now, so please let me know. These last three chapters have just been written today! If you PM me, I'll have time to fix em ASAP! Thank you for this incredible journey; it has been a blast! Stay tuned for the last chapter, the Epilogue, to be posted in...the next half hour lol

IRKEN LOVE

~TheWhyteRabbyt


	20. Epilogue

**Ah, it's finally hear! *starts crying* The end of my two-book series! I can't believe I actually finished it! I mean-you didn't hear that!**

**I'd like to thank everyone who read even a sentence of this story, as you spent whatever amount of time with my work. I hope those of you who took the time to read it all enjoyed every last bit! As I stated before, I'm thinking about going through the whole series and editing it down to a t, adding "bonus footage" and re-releasing it. If you liked it, please take a little more time to comment and tell me what you think. If you have any questions, I'd be ecstatic to answer them! Thank you again!**

* * *

><p><span>Epilogue<span>

I opened my eyes blearily.

What...what _happened_? The last thing I remember… I was on some weird planet, chasing after Zim. I was fighting… a robot? What the heck kind of dream is that?

I reached up to rub my eyes, noticing how oddly light my limbs felt. Must be low-blood sugar. My stomach _roared_. Geez, when was my last meal? My eyes flickered open and I launched into a sitting position. When _was_ my last meal? I looked around... and sighed, relieved. My room…yep, it was all a dream. Maybe I had skipped dinner. My door creaked open and the light turned on. I flicked my eyes to the door—and almost fainted.

"Hello, love-pig. Good to see you are awake." I blinked deeply. _Zim _was in my room…calling me _love-pig_? I curled into the corner, pulling my knees to my chest.

"Why—what—what's happening?" Zim settled on the edge of my bed, smirking playfully.

"Tsk-tsk, Gaz… Don't you remember me saving you? And what you mumbled in your sleep all the way home from Floist?" I couldn't feel it, but I was sure I was blushing.

"W-what did I say…?" The memories were starting to flood back. Good God, I'd been darn near all over the _universe! _

Zim leaned forward, placing a hand on either side of me. He smiled, his blue contacts glittering. I started to get dizzy from his scent—spicy and dark…like chocolate. He pressed his lips against my ear.

"You said you loved Zim." He pulled away and studied my reaction. My lips were pressed together in a tight line, my eyes wide. No… I didn't say that…he's just bugging me…right?

"Now Gaz-love, how do you expect Zim to kiss you when you're hiding those soft pink cushions from me?" He reached up with a gloved hand and began to squish my face with his thumb and index finger. My lips slid out. He grinned, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Much better." He leaned forward, closing the gap between us. The memories of our last kiss returned to me, and I felt that familiar ice-fire sensation run through me. I shivered. Zim pulled away breathily and smiled.

"Zim is a good kisser, eh?" At that moment, the strangest statement to ever pass my lips slipped out.

"I'm a clone of my dad!"

"ZIM IS KISSING _MEMBRANE?_"

* * *

><p>The ruckus upstairs made me uneasy, but I was glad my sister was awake…and probably good as new, judging by Zim's pained shrieks. I shrugged, shaking my head. It was a weird situation, but I'd get used to it eventually. I couldn't really fault Gaz for loving an alien anyway. I turned to the short green girl next to me and kissed her cheek lightly. Her eyelashes fluttered as she looked up at me, smiling despite being roused from a quiet rest.<p>

"I think," she began hesitantly, "I'm happy you gave up hunting 'aliens'." I chuckled at the comment and waved a hand, motioning towards the general world.

"There are plenty of other supernatural phenomena…. You guys deserve a break." I winked at her and she smiled, resting her head against my shoulder, our fingers interlaced.

* * *

><p>I followed Zim around his lab as he recounted his many adventures and explained his theory, entitled "The Not-conquering Conquering". It made a lot of sense: just live somewhere, and you've <em>already<em> conquered it. Minimoose squeaked at me from the computer and began typing up my notes. Zim and I rode the elevator to his living room, where we discovered Gir teaching Pik about tacos and how they seemed to annoy his master. Zim ranted.

* * *

><p>Mimi and I packed up our base, having decided to move closer to the Membrane residence. I watched my A.I. companion, smiling at her helpful nature. I broke the fourth wall and wondered what she had been up to during the main story arc. Hmm, fan-authors can be weird. I shrugged, absently wondering if my little robot would strike up a mutual friendship with Gir and the TDR. That'd be cute. She smiled at me and I grinned back.<p>

* * *

><p>So what became of us all, you ask? Well, that's a long story. You could always ask Zim, as his "battle memories" seem to get more embellished each time he tells them to Skoodge. Pik would probably the most reliable, but he's a bit um…<em>busy <em>with discovering the emotion of "love"…most likely for a certain not-so-defective SIR unit in the possession of my brother's girlfriend. In the end, I guess you can ask whoever you feel like! Why do I care? I mean…my story's done. See you later; I have to go find Zim before he accidentally asks my dad for his marriage blessing.

THE END

(For real this time.)

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: I do not own <em>Invader Zim.<em>**


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